You are beautiful 💕

                                                             "You are beautiful"

The sun breaks out from its prison of a horizon at all once, filling the sky with a newborn majesty, casting out the dim darkness, and adding a layer of black pitch to those uncouth remaining shadows.

The crisp cold air seems to almost crackle like the lake ice, as its too filled with light. And there I was, Sitting on the bridge built over the rapidly flowed water. The darkened cloud hovered my obscured soul. My eyes brimmed with a glassy layer of tears. As I blinked, they dripped from my eyelids and slid down my cheeks. My heart sank. Everything shattered and it felt like my heart was a glass that was pulverized by the actions of people around me who showed moral ambiguity.

I was there dominated by a profound sadness, fatigue that was engraved on my own soul. There was nobody to hold onto me and I felt detached. I was preoccupied with thoughts and anxieties as to be oblivious to the surrounding.

My thoughts were asphyxiating just like those water under that bridge, vibrating and trembling. Upon the water, the sky reflected a mixture of gold and yellow light with the fusion of darkness. My ugly face reflected on that water. I shoved a stone harshly over that ugly reflection with all my frustration that I had over my face. And then I perceived someone's presence besides me. I turned over and I noted his gaze towards me. He was trying to read those words I was screaming from my eyes. His multi hued eyes were sealed in the way that no force could separate.

There was a silence for a moment. The silence caressed my soul like a cool summer breeze. There was no whispering, noise or rustling. I could hear the soft chatter of birds sitting on the tree. The sound of water splashing over the stone and getting tired and weak. I could also hear the tinkle of the brook that was partially iced over and his rhythmic breathing, which was trying to speak but still couldn't. He finally broke that quiescence and asked, Are you okay?

I couldn't stop my tears from running over my face, carrying all those pain along with it and made me languorous and fragile enough to break down. I don't know what made me so weak at that moment. But I just couldn't help! And I finally put my pain in words and said,  "I don't feel beautiful"

This line summarized every bit of my feelings. I hated my face, I hated my body, I hated myself for my entire life because everyone made me feel so. I was never loved. I abhorred myself every time I stood in front of mirror. I never felt beautiful. I always wanted my face to be appealing and angelic but I was total opposite to that. I was ugly.

He glanced into my eyes and sharing a smile, He held my hands and said,
What made you feel that way? Just because your skin isn't fair and covered with dust of others opinion? Just because your body is too thick or too thin to fit into peoples perception?

Just because you dont have white narrow shoulder and thick black shiny hair to flip around the people with mask? or Just because you have pimples and marks to shield that lovely soul? No, that doesn't. It never does.
Beauty doesn't come solely from looks.
I know that, beauty has become a race to an unnamed and nonexistent pinnacle. I know you felt vulnerable. You yearned for someone to call you beautiful. To sense that feeling of affection, love and care. Someone to hug you and embrace your inner beauty and you felt disappointed when all that signified was how you looked outside.

People these days are very much obsessed with their physical appearance. They seek for the outer enticement. They never try to endorse the heart and inner soul. They will forever move towards perfectly trimmed body and sharp jawline with fair face. But you need to understand that, This is not what beauty is about. Beauty isn't external, its internal.

You need learn to love yourself first and then everything falls in line. Its not the others approval you need to feel beautiful, But you need to feel that on your own. You need to learn to accept yourself first. Beauty holds in the eye of the beholder, but if your own eyes don't find you beautiful how can you expect others to acknowledge it?

Carry yourself in a way that anyone would be mesmerized after meeting you, Its your brain, style and attitude which makes you sexy and not your extremely fair face. Looks doesnot determine the quality of life. How you feel, your thoughts and feelings is what projects and manifests in your outer life. You are more than your body, looks and outer appearance.

Carry yourself with dignity. Its up to you whether you want to drown in self loathing or just get out and have fun and simply ignore those negative vibes. And hey, You are beautiful ❤️

The tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling my face. I felt the muscles of my chin trembled like a small child. His hands were still interlocked in mine. I hugged him and said thankyou.

He waved a goodbye and slowly turned over and walked away. He evanesce into the thin air of fog and vanished within my sight. Who was he? I never knew him. I have never met him before. But he knew every bit of me. It felt like it was my own heart that spoke to me that day.

I looked over the sky and there was the pitch black curtain draped over the sky that was twisted and warped with the stars that went against the blackness. The sun had gone to rest and the moon took his place. The eerie darkness of that night would never escape my memory. I stared up at the sky and studied the silver glow of the moon. I smiled with a intense that warmed my soul like a fire place on a cold winter's night. The faint wind brushed against the water's surface.

I closed my eyes and there I saw a new beautiful me with hope beads on my skin like a dew on spring grass. It was radiating in to soothe my blood. Now it doesn't matter if people turn off all the lights around me because there is this flame inside my soul that is ready to start a new blaze.

I feel the positivity flow, recharging my neurons until they rekindle and spark. And this new me will never be extinguished before my earthly time is done.

I found the love, The love I had for myself. Now, I do feel beautiful 💕

                                      #Aashima 📝

Ps: Everyone is beautiful ❤️